Best laid plans…

I remember living at my parents house, including two months after my wife and I were married. Every morning we had the same conversation.

My Dad would call to me before I was even awake. “Ammmiit! Wake up, it’s not good to sleep too much.”

And no matter what age I was, I just grumbled.

“Ammmuu,” he’d call, using a loving pet name. “Wake up bache [kid] — it’s morning.”

I remember thinking I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

“Amit. Wake up. There is lots to do.”

That finally got a response: “Dad, I’m coming.”

It always took me about 15 sleepy minutes to get downstairs. The kitchen was already bustling: cricket highlights way too loud on the TV, Mom making breakfast and lunch at the same time. And the conversation with her was always the same.

“What do you want to eat?”

“Nothing.” It was too early to even think about food.

My Dad would always quip, “You know early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

Which I would always ignore, asking to turn down the cricket.

And mom would ignore both of us. “Eat something. I made this fresh, it’s warm.”

“I just woke up, Mom, I don’t want to think of eating.”

And then my Dad would ask the dreaded question: “What’s your plan for the day?”

I hated that question. It always felt like a trap. I couldn’t tell him my plan was to mill around the house telling mom I didn’t want anything to eat, even though I was starving. Instead I always came up with something else. I had lots of school/work that was very important. Then some computer things I needed to fix. I had to apply for something or the other. Cleaning up my room/car/desk, and then watching my beloved sports team lose a crucial game.

No matter what I had on my list. Dad always had the same response: “What about the rest of the day?” Then came the laundry list of items I needed to get done — including actual laundry.

I remember being so annoyed that my Dad woke up with a “Plan of Action.” Not just for himself, but for me and the rest of the family. I was even more annoyed that he would dare ask for my plan. It felt like he was trying to manipulate me or seek an opening into some other conversation.

Let’s just say that I’ve gotten wiser over the years.

First, like most of us, I’ve figured out the benefits of sleep. Why it’s important to sleep well, at consistent times, and at the right time.

Second, I’ve learned the beauty of the morning hours. I’m so much more efficient and productive if I get started before the rest of the world — and my email — gets going. I’m writing this at 7:30 am while the rest of the house is quiet.

Which means that Dad’s favourite expression is right. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Dad is turning 80 this month. He still works 6 days a week. He has done well for himself and our family. He followed his Plan of Action. Turns out there is a lot of wisdom in having one.

I’ve already written about procrastination. One method of fighting it is spending some time in the morning planning your day. Procrastination, at best is frustrating, and at worst can lead to increased stress and negative effects on mental health. On the flip side, getting something done and accomplishing goals leads to positive feelings and a sense of joy. Thus, there is clear evidence to the importance of combating procrastination. And that starts with a good plan.

Having a good plan has many professional benefits; Clear goals for you and your team in both the short and long term, efficient and more productive meetings, and a road map that is easy to reflect on and evaluate at the end of the year.

I have also learned so much more about planning for being a parent from a good friend of mine: Samir Jamal.

One day we were talking about parenting toddlers. I went through how my little guy doesn’t listen,how it’s hard for him to eat breakfast and on and on. Sam listened. Then he said something that changed my perspective on both parenting and planning.

“That kid has been planning his day since the minute he laid down last night. When he wakes up he has a plan in place. Play with this toy, watch that TV show, play with this other toy, ask for milk on the couch.”

So when I say it’s time to sit down and eat breakfast for an hour, he’s not having it.

That conversation was a game changer. I realized that I wake up with a plan as a parent. I’m thinking about my responsibilities and taking care of him. He wakes up with his own plan — fun trumps all — and invariably those plans clash. I don’t know if you’ve ever clashed with a toddler, but its similar to the feeling you get when you call your cell phone carrier for a phone upgrade.

Here’s what I’ve started doing with my little guy. Before a big trip, or some unique event the next day, I would talk to him about the plan. We would come up with it together to make sure he got what he needed (a specific toy or video) and so did I (him fed and in the car on time). That plan of action made those mornings so much easier. When he threatens to go off the rails, I remind him of the plan. It calms him, even if it’s just temporary at his age, and eases my own anxiety.

I realize now that my Dad wasn’t trying to trap me in those conversations. He was trying to help me be productive. He wanted me to get things done, have a plan. He was even trying to show me that like me (and like my 4-year old son), he had a plan of his own. It wasn’t that he was trying to disrupt my plan. Much like I’m not trying to disrupt my son’s plans. It was just that he had a list of things I could do in case my plan was blank.

If I can offer you any advice, it’s this: go to bed early tonight, wake up early tomorrow, and have a plan for the day so others don’t plan it for you. You’ll be healthier, wealthier and wiser for it.